Crimson White
by TJR05
Summary: From the ashes of a fallen Camelot, a journey of survival that takes Guinevere to the far reaches of the five kingdoms, back to Camelot to find that Morgana had not taken her heart, and could not break her spirit after all that she's attempted. Love conquers all, no matter what kind of love it is, or how the bonds are made.
1. Chapter 1

**Crimson White**

AN: So first of thank you to all of those who read East of the Sun, West of the Moon. Now this story has been bubbling in my mind for the past weeks, I see random paragraphs, find myself forming words here and there, so finally I sat my ass down and gave it ago. I warn now it will be agnsty and slightly dark. This will be a WIP since there is no way I can write it all in one go as the ideas are coming everyday. I hope you will give this a chance, even though it is far from perfect, and because of that the first few chapters will be short, and will pick up to my epic lengths later. Reviews are loved and bring inspiration, and constructive criticism are welcomed. I do apologize for my grammar and spelling, I don't have a beta reader at the moment, so this will be edited by me (the horror!).

I do NOT own Merlin, it belongs to BBC and Shine.

**Summary: From the ashes of a fallen Camelot, a journey of survival that takes Guinevere to the far reaches of the five kingdoms, back to Camelot to find that Morgana had not taken her heart, and could not break her spirit after all that she's attempted.**

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_"I was looking for a breath of life_  
_A little touch of heavenly light_  
_But all the choirs in my head sang "no"_  
_(I believe it)_  
_To get a dream of life again_  
_A little vision of the start and the end_  
_But all the choirs in my head sang "no"_

_-Breath of Life by Florence + The Machine_

**Chapter 1**

She knew it was going to happen eventually. After all everyone had to die at some point or other. It was inevitable since the moment he was old enough for quests, though back then she didn't think it would effect her so directly, at least not until he almost died by the Questing Beast. No those were the simpler times when her father was alive, she was just a girl with small dreams. That wasn't entirely true, she wanted to believe that her life would be normal, that like the girls around her she would one day marry, have children, and have a husband who came home to her every night and they'd live a simple life. It was the happy ending that everyone wanted, but somewhere deep within even before she knew what fate had planned for her, she felt she was meant to do more than just mother children and live a humble life of servitude. She dreamt of love, she dreamt of adventure, and she hoped for a magic that wouldn't call attention to Uther's rage.

But she grew up. Today she was queen, today her heart broke as she was told by a squire that her husband, the other half of her soul had died. Yet she couldn't say she was surprised, she couldn't mourn like a normal woman, she had to sit at the head of the council table he has granted her the right to and fold her hands together, a perfect stillness of calm nodding her acknowledgement of the news. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat, "how did it happen?" she asked softly.

"The Lady Morgana ambushed us, she's known for a while of the King's plans, your highness." The squire produced, looking up at his sovereign both in awe and confusion. He like most was surprise by the king's decision to marry a commoner, a servant at that. But the servant turned queen had exceeded all their expectations. "I barely got away, his highness risked his life to save me and a few other knights so that we may come back and warn you of the pending attack, by the time Sir Leon, and Sir Eylan got to the King-it was too late he was seen falling."

She could feel Gwaine and Percival step just an inch closer to her, they were left behind for her protection as ordered by the king, she could feel Gaius' eyes upon her, she felt all of their eyes upon her. Her brother was now lost to her as well she assumed. "Where is his body?"

"...my lady...it was nowhere to be found once we had a moment, forgive me for we could not bring him back with us. Sir Leon was the last to see him." the squire finished lowering his head in shame and defeat.

She pressed her lips together, and took a soft breath, "how much time do we have?"

"Not much my queen, the Lady Morgana is already headed towards Camelot."

She finally stood looking amongst the council members, "we've prepared for this, ring the bells, get the civilians formed and use the old tunnels if we must flea the city, if Morgana knew of our plans, she surly knows of the new tunnels. Get the rest of the army ready, Sir Gwaine, and Sir Percival shall lead, along with Sir Kay." She commended. "Those willing to stay behind and help the wounded may do so, but no one will be forced upon the task. The women, children, and the elderly despite class shall be first priority if Camelot should fall. You Edmund shall have to ride for Camelot once more, gather another who you trust. You shall ride to Caerleon, and the other to Nemeth. Inform our allies that we request refuge for any citizen of Camelot that may flea there, and any soldiers they can spare to us. Gather the soldiers."

They all looked to her for a second before the council nodded in agreement because after all with the king dead she was now the sole ruler of Camelot. Everyone had a role they were to play in this, _he_ had made sure not to exclude anyone's opinion-each voice valued as his own, _he_ had exceeded even what she thought was possible for a king to do, which was offer equality amongst all the classes. Her mind wondered once again to the night when she held his hand in hers and promised him life though she had no such power over it. She a servant had asked him to live for her even then, and many times after he kept his word to return to her, until today.

It was when she was left in the room with Gaius, Gwaine, and Percival lingering did she let out a strained breath that came out sounding half between a scream and cry, the tears which she held back spilled like water falls as she clutched at her stomach, she couldn't breathe. She could feel them, but all she wanted this moment was to fall apart and mourn for her loss. Her head seized with the pressure of her despair.

"Gwen..." Gaius started placing a hand on her trembling shoulders. He'd watched her grow, watched her blossom into a beautiful young woman with a heart to match and watched her win the heart of the young prince destined to be the future king. There was always something very regal about the maid servant, a nobleness that Gaius suspected she did not know she possessed, but those around her noticed. Her moral aptitude even suppressed that of Merlin at times. When she was crowned queen of Camelot there was no one more fitting for the position than her, and she filled the shoes more than any princess could have. She was stronger than most gave her credit for, and even just now she displayed the most strength he's seen of any woman. "My dear we must prepare..."

She wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed her eyes shut, all she could see was his smiling face, the feel of his lips as he pressed them to her lips first then promising to return to her. He'd broken his promise. He'd left her when he'd vowed he wouldn't. She felt her head spin and in that moment everything became clear. She took a breath and through her tears looked to the three men standing before her. "Yes..."

Gwaine was the first to speak, "Gwen..." the name saved for those closest to her, "...his orders were, if anything should happen to Camelot for us to make sure you are safe, we'd promised him with our lives."

She felt her anger strike up, over the years she's lost much, hurt much and she thanks the gods for bringing her much in return. Though the loss of a father cannot be replaced by anything, she learned to live with the pain of that loss, but the anger she felt she was always able to dispel it with the love she felt from those who she called her friends, and the man she loves. But with each blow she receives, the anger that was once so easy to let go leaves a residue within her, a darkness of emotions that was slowly infecting her right now. How could she possibly ask them to lay their lives at her feet? How could she live with more loss? Then the dizziness hit her again, she almost lost her balance and grasped the table tightly, he could feel Gaius' hands on her shoulder.

"You must take care..." the older man softly said to her. "...he would not have wanted this, nor would Merlin or Elyan. They would never forgive us for not looking after you."

Merlin! Where was Merlin? Where was her dearest friend to whom she entrusted her most precious possession? He'd promised as well! It seems everyone was breaking their promises to her this day. But Gaius was right, she had to take care, she had to live on, for she wouldn't give Morgana the satisfaction of taking anything more from her. "We do as was planned. If the need should come for us to flea Camelot, we shall do it together with as many people as we can." She looked up, the reserve back in place but her eyes soft for the three men before her. "Thank you for standing by me, thank you for honoring our King, Camelot and myself with your lives. I am forever grateful my dear friends."

Percival who usually said nothing got on his knees, "I will keep my vow to our King, to my friend." He looked up at her then with a steel gaze and gentle smile, "I will make sure nothing happens to you." Gwaine followed his fellow knight and friend, his hair curtaining his face, which usually was merry and full of mischief, on this day it was neither.

She should have felt some reassurance, she should have felt some safety, but all she felt was emptiness. This wasn't how things were to be, most times when Morgana came up she no longer felt the brush of nostalgia hit her of the days when the woman they spoke of was but a girl, a friend, someone she confided in, and truly loved. She didn't recognize the woman who wanted to take her life, who wanted to hurt her. This woman was not her friend, this wasn't the girl she held at night when she woke screaming from countless nightmares. She had once asked her why she hated her so, but she had not answered her directly, instead opted for cryptic words that meant nothing. When she did give Morgana some thought, all she felt was pity, but today there was something stronger brewing within as precious minutes tic by her and the news of his death settles into her core. No it was no longer pity, she felt.

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It was as expected she came like a storm, Guinevere had a mind of thinking that Morgana had a dark cloud that followed her and it lingered and drew the life out of everything it passed over. She was still regal, and entitled as she came in all her glory as if she had the right. Guinevere acknowledged that maybe she did at one point but she gave that right up when she murdered innocent citizens of Camelot for her own personal gain. So misguided was her once friend. Sometimes she wished she could have been a better friend to her, could have saved her from becoming just like her father. Standing in her trousers and tunic she was also ready for battle, watching as the hordes of men she conjured up from some lie or manipulation followed to ravage another kingdom for it's spoils. They would kill, rape, and take all for selfish need, just as their mistress would.

Even from this distance she could see Morgana's smile as she yelled "Burn it all!" She watched as brave and loyal men of Camelot charged into battle against mercenaries with no morals or codes. She watched with a heavy heart as her people fell, for she knew from the moment that the king had fallen that they were greatly out numbered, and fleeing Camelot was the only way to ensure the survival of it's people. She saw the crimson of their blood that would turn to the earthy color long after their souls have left their bodies. She heard the cries that were now etched into her mind.

"My lady we must go!" yelled a random solider who she didn't see, only heard for her eyes were fixated on the destruction that lay before her. She had failed, but she would not fall, she could not! Picking up her own sword she ran towards the great hall where she would collect her people and flee. Through the chaos she found Gaius who was treating the fallen. Her heart became just a little more stone like.

Gwaine rushed in then, his face covered in specks of blood and grime. He looked to her, "we must go now, she will not be satisfied until she's spilled your blood and I can't let that happen."

"Where is Percival?" she asked.

"He's holding them off, but they'll be here soon, Sir Kay had already started to lead the people out as you instructed, Gwen, we must go now!" he said his hand reaching for her shoulder, sword in the other.

She looked to Gaius, "pack up what you can." she looked around the room, "everyone follow us now, those who can assist others do so, and those strong enough to carry the children take as many as you can carry!"

The next few minutes went almost as if in a blur, she watched the great doors burst open as a river of soldiers wearing Camelot's colors got pushed back by the black of Morgana's men. She saw a glimpse of her, amidst the men a smirk on her lips as her eyes glowed golden with power. She even heard her voice yell, "I want the Queen, Guinevere Pendragon...dead." She felt herself being pulled and pushed all at once, she wasn't sure by who, the cries continued to echo in her head as she found herself lost amongst her people. It wasn't until they were outside running into the forest that she stopped to take in the twilight.

She looked back once more at her home, at her kingdom and the darkness that loomed over it. The flames of the fire raging through, and the ashes that seem to float down over everything. How many times has she run from there now? How many times had she locked away the image of Camelot within her heart never to return? Once again she felt that darkness grow. It was when she felt Gwaine tug at her arm did she turn and run once again away from her home, heart, and Camelot.

TBC

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Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: First thank you for all the reviews so far, second I have to apologize for my misspelling of Caerleon and Nemeth in the last chapter which I have now corrected. I must apologize over and over about my spelling and grammar as I am still editing my own work. I decided to go ahead and add this chapter even though I was going to wait, since the next few chapters will be posted a week or so apart from each other. Please review and enjoy!

As stated before I do NOT own Merlin, and I don't like to be redundant, this will be the last time I address it.

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_"Your songs remind me of swimming  
__Which I forgot when I started to sink  
__Dragged further away from the shore  
__And deeper into the drink"_

_-Swimming by Florence + The Machine_

**Chapter 2**

"_Arthur..._"

He opened his eyes and saw the trees blanketing him from the sunshine, he laid there with the buzzing in his ear, felt his limps burn like fire even though he was perfectly still. He thought he'd heard Guinevere's voice calling him, closing his eyes trying to listen for it again.

"_Arthur..." she whispered softly sitting on their bed, her long curls free and spilling over one shoulder, skin glowing from the break of dawn, as she looked at him with those eyes that begged him to stay at her side. She knew as well he that he had to leave soon. It was just before dawn that he awakened. He'd watched her sleep beside him for a long while. She was the epitome of beauty in his eyes, to him there would be no one lovelier than his Guinevere. His. Pushing back a stray curl, he listened to her breathing, as he traced her brows gently with his finger. Never was anything as precious to him as this small woman who he once kissed in her humble home and instantly lost his heart to. _

_He got out of bed and stood by the fire that was slowly dying out, he stroked it and watched the flames spark back to life again. He always felt a little empty when he was leaving her. She'd voiced her concerns, she'd asked him to reconsider, but this was something that had to be done for the unification of Albion, he needed to make peace with Odin. Sometimes he wished that he didn't have all the burden that came with being King, that he had not asked her to join him in carrying this burden. He knew what he was asking of her, he knew how her heart stopped every time he rode away as did his. His thoughts broke when she said his name softly. Turning to find her just as alluring if not more now than when they were just young lovers. "Good morning, my queen." He smiled._

"_Good morning husband." She said, he always liked it when she affectionately called him husband. He moved towards her then, standing by the side of the bed, cupping her cheek in his hand, he lowered his lips to hers. "Arthur..."_

"_Live for you I shall, my Guinevere..." he whispered before claiming her lips once more for she gave him the will to live, her lips was the breath of life._

When he opened his eyes, he could feel the moisture spilling down the sides of his eyes, he wept, because he'd promised her that he'd return to her and now in this moment, he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep that promise, and even though he knew not what awaited him in the after life, a life without Guinevere was not something he was ready to live, not again, not ever.

"Merlin?" he called his throat sore, turning his head to each side slowly for the pounding made him dizzy. He had to fight, he had to live. He made a promise and he had to keep it. Closing his eyes from the flashing behind them, he listened for any sound that might lead him to know if he was indeed lying alone at the edge of death. But all he felt was the blackness that threaten to consume him, he fought to stay awake, to move, but all he could do was slip into the black nothingness where he heard her voice.

"_My King..." she whispered brushing back the golden locks and tracing his brows as he dozed in his chair, his desk littered with treaties, and proclamation that needed his attention. Her cool fingers comforting, he opened his eyes and looked at her. She was wearing her ivory night gown making her skin even more earthy, her hair was braided to one side as she smiled at him._

"_Did I drift of?" he asked taking her hand into his and smiling at her, she gave him a knowing smirk. How he loved her expressions. Placing a kiss to her palm, he felt the pulse of her life around his fingers._

"_Yes you did, but I think it's time you came to bed," taking her hand back and moving towards the bed._

_He sat back and smiled lazily at her, watching her, "is that an invitation, my queen?"_

"_Well I suppose you'll have to join me and find out, won't you?" she said standing in front of their bed._

_Their bed, how hard they fought to have these moments without being questioned, or having to hide. There was no worry of getting caught for he was king and she his queen. What a lovely creature she was, how she made his heart race and blood hot with need. He stood and approached her slowly, when he finally reached her his hands falling to her small waist, "I shall join you for as long as you shall have me, Guinevere..." _

"_Good..." she whispered as she tipped her head to meet his lips. "Then you must stay awake..."_

"_What?"_

"_Stay awake Arthur..."_

"_Arthur!"_

"Arthur!" his eyes snapped open at that moment, as if some invisible spark flew through him, he was sure he heard a voice calling him. "Arthur!" he could hear again, Merlin's frantic voice coming towards him. He laid there then and looked up at the blue sky which greeted him and the sun that fell in spot through the curtain of leaves, providing displaced warmth about him, he smiled. He wouldn't break his oath, at least not without a fight. And definitely not today.

"Merlin," his voice broke from the dryness that resided there. But his voice fought as did the rest of his body as he finally willed it to move. Turning to his side, he saw Merlin approaching him. Those ridiculous socks and boots a welcomed sight.

Merlin raced towards Arthur, even though his own body ached, face covered with dirt, sweat and blood. Falling to his knees when he reached him, his eyes glittering with tears that he so often shed at this man's expense. He smiled though because what else can you do really but smile at the small things that eventually led to great victories. "What took you so long?" Arthur asked laying back on his back, but the smile on his lips made Merlin's tears fall even more.

"Sorry I got lost." He answered looking down at the blond man, his king, his friend, his brother. His eyes scanned the young king's body, and saw the blood that stained his chain mail. Watched as the blue eyes glazed over, he was hurt bad, and all he had at his disposal was his magic. Magic which was so taboo that it might one day cost him his friendship along with his life. "Arthur?"

"You know Merlin, I feel so tired today. I think a lie in will be good for me." Arthur whispered, suddenly knowing that Merlin made him realize he didn't have to fight so hard. He'd known that as long as Merlin was alive and able, he'd make sure that he saw his Guinevere again. That his life wouldn't end today in a uneven battle field. He closed his eyes for a moment, the darkness a welcoming calm finally, before he looked at his young man servant, his friend. "Dry those tears Merlin, lets go home, Guinevere is waiting." With that his eyes closed form weariness.

"Yea, she is." He found himself saying even though he knew once Arthur came to again he will realize that maybe Gwen wouldn't be waiting for them, that Camelot would have to be fought for again, and maybe this time he will have the power to do what he didn't all those years ago, kill Morgana once and for all. There were times that he felt as if he was the root cause of all the pain that now seem to follow Arthur, Gwen, and those around them, for if he had heed Kilgharrah's warning he could've saved them all a lot of heartache.

The burden which he carried on his shoulders some days weighed him down, and he felt as if he was buckling under the pressure, at least his heart was. Lifting his hand over the unconscious Arthur, he whispered the enchantment to heal his wounds. Couple of broken ribs, a sword gash through his side, a displaced shoulder all remedied with blue eyes glimmering golden with some supernatural energy activated by a few words and sheer will. He remembered the days when he struggled with such incantations, but now it as simple as a stroll about the lower town.

He worked on getting a fire started as his mind went to Camelot. What would be there to greet them this time? He wondered if they had enough time to escape for he knew very well that they were out numbered. Camelot graciously offered King Lot a larger division of it's army in order to regain balance after Cenred's death and Helios short rule left the lands open to bandits and mercenaries. To gain back alliance with Essetir and to have a friend in King Lot, Arthur agreed without hesitation. But it was now that Merlin realized that Morgana had planned this all along to leave Camelot bare, and those mercenaries once worked for Helios and plagued Cenred's lands were now causing destruction to Camelot again.

How little people thought of each other, how easily they were manipulated and coarse by greed. He admired Arthur for being able to carry the weight of ruling a kingdom, the politics and of course the destiny he knew nothing about. Merlin chuckled to himself then as he looked into the flames, they say ignorance is bliss but so far that has not proven to be true for Arthur or himself. For Arthur thought his man servant was ignorant yet still '_dragged'_ him everywhere so Merlin was forced to be enlightened, and Arthur had no idea of the great destiny he's been given but still comes close to death on a daily basis trying to fulfill said destiny. And now Gwen was involved.

Folding his arms over his knees and slowly placing his chin there he felt the heaviness settle in his bones. Gwen his very first friend, his closest and most cherished friend now the queen of Camelot. He had been overjoyed the day of her coronation, but all too soon he realized that Gwen's love for Arthur would also be her down fall many times over. Merlin could not blind himself to the fact that more than her heart would be broken over and over again, and he wondered how many times she could bounce back from it all. He had pledged to her, to Arthur, and to himself that he'd protect them with his life. When he was just a boy it all seemed glamourous to be entrusted with such a great a task but as years wear on he was beginning to think he had no right to promise such things even if he is to be the greatest wizard that ever lived, he couldn't bring back the dead.

TBC

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Please Review!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thank you for the reviews! I'm so glad that this is being received so well. Of course I wasn't going to kill Arthur and Merlin, not yet anyway! I always mention this when writing a WIP, I progress very slowly as I like to write in detail and try to pace it out so that it makes sense for the most part. Also it's very difficult to sometimes follow the Merlin story line of which Kingdom is where and who rules what, and more importantly which are the five kingdoms. Because there are more than five kingdoms in Albion, so I'm going to mix it up with my own bits and pieces of the Arthurian legends. Now one of the things that I'm going to just make up is where Nemeth is located since it was not disclosed in the show. The rating for the story will go up eventually, so T readers have been forewarned. As always please review and enjoy!

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"_The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out  
__You left me in the dark  
__No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight  
__In the shadow of your heart"_

_-Cosmic Love by Florence +The Machine_

**Chapter 3**

Once again it felt like a dream, never a nightmare for her life has become so extravagant that something like fleeing from Camelot because she was the queen and the Lady Morgana now a powerful vengeful witch wanted her dead wasn't as surreal as it would've sounded to her years back. Leaving Camelot because she betrayed the only man she's ever truly loved with a man she thought she could have all those normal things a girl could want, consolation prize was confusing for the reason that she didn't know why she had done what she had, but it still wasn't surreal. It occurred to Guinevere that her life was just as ostentatious as it sounded in her head. Nothing about it was normal, nothing about it was calm and stable like a canal, no it was more of a raging river that desired to be part of a great sea.

She was back in the Darkling woods, the cave that once housed Arthur, Merlin, Gaius, her brother and Gwaine now again a safe heaven for her, and those that managed to escape Camelot with them. She sat by the fire watching the frightened looks on the faces of her people. She supposed they had to escape Morgana almost just as many times as she did, but it was harder for them, for they lived in safe cloud that their sovereign provided for them. They had a period of peace and prosperity. She wondered if she was too happy and for that reason she fell into this unbearable despair. Because for a little while she had put Morgana and the evils of the world out of her mind. Her eyes stung with tears which she refused to spill.

"Gwen..." Percival's quiet voice came behind her, as he rounded the fire and took a seat to her right. She looked at him and her lips tired to twitch into a smile to comfort him, for that's what she did, she comforted when there was no room for such things. Her eyes returning to the flames, watching them dance, and burn the wood to glimmering amber. She remembered when she was a child she burned her arm quite badly, she remembered how she sat sobbing quietly for two days as the feeling of the fire was etched to her skin and mind. She burned, and nothing but a cool balm that Gaius prepared her would calm her, even then she could feel the tingling sensation. She was burning now in an eternal flame, her whole being burning as a tribute for Arthur, paying homage so that his soul would reach the after life safely, and this time nothing would soothe her.

"You must eat something..." Percival's voice broke through her musings. She looked at him as he produced an apple and held it out to her, his lip forming to a gentle smile. How contradictory his appearance was to his nature, just as was Morgana's.

Guinevere smiled at him this time, "you must eat as well, and after you've fought so hard, you deserve that more than I." pushing his out stretched hand back to him with the fruit still in his grasp. It was then that Gwaine casually strolled over and plucked the fruit from Percival's hand and sat down to her left, taking his small dagger out. "Gwaine..."

He looked at her so sternly then, that she almost didn't recognize the man. "You must eat, if you worry about who deserves what, then we shall share, but you will eat," with that he began slicing the fruit to pieces handing her a slice, and then another to Percival. They watched her, she looked from the two men to the fruit that now stained her fingers with it's juice, with it's ripeness. She laughed softly, how lucky she was indeed, maybe too lucky, and too loved and for that reason the gods decided that she needed to give some back. She couldn't help the tears that slipped mutely as she took a bite from the sweet fruit.

"Thank you." Was all she could manage as her lungs constricted, and she pushed the bits of the fruit in her mouth down. Even something as simple of eating was becoming painful to her. She found that her mind was consumed with thoughts of Arthur and then Morgana would come crashing through like a black smoke taking over her thoughts.

"We will make it, Gwen. We've done it before, and we will again." Gwaine tried to reassure her, as Percival gave a nod to confirm the words.

"It's not the same this time," she said softly brushing her knuckles against the tears.

That hung in the air as each took from it what it meant. There was no Arthur, no Merlin, no Elyan, no Leon. Lady Luck had forsaken Camelot and this time it truly seemed hopeless. Guinevere recalled the story of the Kingdom of Troy she found in the library a few years back; who would carry the sword of Camelot? Who would be their Aeneas? Where would they go? She looked around the people who were already trying to put the pieces back together. Gaius working for hours to do what he could with what he had to help the injured. Though the grave truth of the matter being that they would lose a fraction of these people to their injuries, to hunger, to bandits, and the biggest possibility, Morgana. They were destitute, and Guinevere knew that alone would cause trouble amongst kin.

"We must try to make it Caerleon," stated Gwaine. "Queen Annis will consider helping us."

Guinevere looked at him then, "we need more than consideration...I fear maybe it is hopeless," she whispered.

"In life you always have a choice, sometimes it's easier to think that you don't," Gaius said as he joined them by the fire, resting his weary feet, his wise eyes looked at his queen. "I remember a young but wise girl once told me that. Now you have a choice to give up and let Morgana prevail or you can be the queen we all know you to be, that we have seen in you and fight." His eyes twinkling with a fire that spoke volumes of his hidden knowledge.

Gwaine smiled as he handed a slice of the apple to Gaius, then looked at her, "we are knights of Camelot, and you her queen, you've already over come so much, what's a little more?"

She suddenly envied their optimism because she was truly lacking it for the first time in her life. She prided herself for always seeing the good in everyone and everything, even the smallest of hopes was enough for her to create a large opening through which the light of that hopefulness could flow through, but now sitting there she felt the coldness that slowly crept within her. She feared it, yet she welcomed it. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth is how Morgana's war started, though her idea of justice was deeply misguided but now Guinevere found herself thinking that perhaps now was the time to adopt this code, for she deserved compensation for every hurt Morgana has caused her. The darkness spread just a little more within her veins.

Gaius knew he didn't always follow the principles that he preached, but he tried to live by them on most occasions. He found that he failed in guiding as much as he succeed, but this moment he truly feared for the woman sitting across from him now. No longer a girl, but even in her womanly state he always saw the innocence that lingered in her eyes, the brightness that guided out the darkness of doubt from the minds of those close to her, but now those eyes were clouding over. The window to her light was closing, he felt the change in her from the moment the news of Arthur's death had spilled from the mouth of squire.

Percival have always been a man of very few words, mostly because growing up he was always out cast. His size always a mockery for the children of the village he grew up in. His own brothers and sisters opting to keeping their distance. He found that he'd much rather be with the horses and going about this life quietly spared him the ridicule he always felt, they thought him to be a brute with no mind. But in Camelot he found a home, a place where he belonged, and the greatest honor that could be bestowed on a commoner of the likes of him. First Lancelot had shown him true kindness, then Arthur gave him true honor and purpose, he found friends, brothers amongst his fellow knights and Merlin, and another gentle soul in Gwen. He understood early on that Lancelot was taken by the small woman who seemed so big, that his reasons for heeding Merlin's call wasn't all just for it was the honorable thing to do, it was for Gwen just as much as it was for Camelot. Percival found himself wonder how such a small thing had so much power, and yet she knew not how much power she had.

She had power even before she came close to being queen of Camelot, no she ruled the hearts of those closest to her, most importantly she ruled the heart of Arthur. But now he saw that power waning as if her soul knew that it had lost it's true strength, _Arthur_. When Lancelot had returned from death, something was different about him, to this day he knew that the Lancelot that returned was not the man he knew, but his doubts kept him from voicing it, and the simple fact that he wanted his friend back. He could not believe it when Lancelot the noble would do such a thing to hurt Arthur when the very same man had given his life to make sure that Arthur could return to Guinevere. Once again he did not feel that he had a right to voice things that he did not know of well. He realized too late that Guinevere being as gentle as she was also more prone to hurting than them all, but her _magic_ was that she always lived on, she carried on with nobleness.

"We must take back the soldiers given to King Lot, what's left of them." Started Guinevere, "Percival you shall take the people along with Gaius and journey to Caerleon, provide a safe passage. I fear that maybe Edmund did not reach Caerleon in time. Gwaine and I will meet with King Lot, then we shall request all of our allies for their help in taking back Morgana."

"I promised Arthur I would not leave your side," Percival said eyes strong. "I cannot fail to carry that out."

Guinevere reached over to touch his hand, "I am of no matter now, Camelot and it's people are more important, am but one to these hundreds. You must make sure that they make the journey, get as many of them as you can to safe ground."

"Gwen, I fear that I must decline and stay at your side as well. I am an old man but I still have some magic left in me. I can provide some protection." Gaius said softly but almost cryptically, "and you will need a physician."

She looked into the flames once more before speaking, "I am your queen and you shall do as I ask. Percival will lead the refugees west towards Caerleon, Gwaine and I will go east. Gaius you will be needed, and I have watched you enough to take care of the basic necessities of a physician."

"Gwen..."

"We will take back Camelot, and I will kill Morgana." She said almost to herself rather than the three men. She was consumed, Gaius looked to Gwaine who watched the woman beside him. He was angrier now than he was ever before because Morgana managed to break the one person he truly believed could not be broken.

"As you wish, your highness."

TBC

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Please Review!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thank you lovely reviewers! I can't say just how touched I am, and for that reason the chapters are flowing out and I'm updating so often. Nothing much to say for this one other than the usual apology for spelling and grammar. Enjoy and please leave me a review!

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"_Between two lungs it was released  
__The breath that carried me  
__The sigh that blew me forward"_

_-Between Two Lungs by Florence +The Machine_

**Chapter 4**

_He was in a meadow, where array of flowers grew. He laid on his back with the warm summer breeze blowing between him, he could see the pinks of his eyelids as the sun danced on his face. These moments when he was far from the responsibilities of being the crowned prince that he cherished. Far from the weight of having his father's judgment. He was just Arthur here, in this place. It was here that he believed that he could be anything, anyone, be just a man with normal desires._

_It was becoming increasingly difficult living with his father's hatred of magic, with his prejudice of those who were not like him. The very fact that he so simply stated that as the crowned prince his duty was to marry for Camelot. He found himself wonder if his father truly cared for Camelot or if it was what Camelot represented that he wanted to uphold. The power, the prestige, and the wealth. He supposed that his father was slowly becoming to him the image Merlin and Guinevere had of him years back. _

_How things changed, he was now crowned prince who was in love with a maid servant, and could easily call a man servant a good friend. A maid servant who taught him about humility, and a pain in the behind man servant who showed him how obnoxious he truly was living in decadence and a cloud of privilege. With every trial they faced together he was slowly and grimly realizing just how difficult being king would be, how much he wanted to change, and where his desires should be discarded for the good of the people._

"_So this is what the crowned prince does when he's not toiling away behind paper work," her voice a sweet melody that he's grown to listen for. He opened his eyes and there she stood arms full of blossoms, for her quaint little home or perhaps for Morgana's chambers._

"_Oh if only I could tell you the woes of being a crowned prince, you would not mock me so!" he smiled at her slowly pulling himself up to sit. "And you? Fulfilling girlish fantasies of running through a meadow of flowers daydreaming of your prince?"_

"_You've caught me, my lord!" she impassively said but the playful glint was in her eyes. "Here I was having to play out my fantasy of a knight rescuing me from some beast or other all alone, when you were here the entire time."_

_He smiled up at her, eyes squinting from the sunlight. "I shall be more than happy to fulfill any fantasy you may have, Guinevere..."_

_Her lips fell open just slightly but her smile remained. Her lips that haunted his dreams now that he's known the feel of them, the taste of them, the softness of her lips and the curves of her hip. "You should not say things like that..." she whispered softly her eyes turning away from his._

_He stood and took the two steps that took him to her, one large hand on her small waist, the other went to hook under her chin to make her look at him, her earthy orbs shining with restraint that begged to break free. "But I mean every word of it...for you Guinevere nothing is too arduous..." touching his head to hers, he closed his eyes for a moment._

_It hurt him to know that she held back, that she was so pragmatic. He desperately wanted to assure her that it was only her that he loved, and there was only room for her in his heart. But he also knew that while romanticism was good, her cautiousness was better. His father wouldn't understand, and the sad truth was, he wouldn't care to understand. There was a lot he didn't know about his father, and even less about his mother. His father was the king and that's the man he knew, not Uther. So how could he possibly stride up to this man who felt like a stranger to him at times and tell him what he truly wanted, when deep down when he was truly honest he knew that what he wanted would not be considered even in thought._

"_Arthur..."_

_He tipped her head back, looked into her eyes, "one day Guinevere I will make all your desires come true, whatever you want, you shall have."_

"_What if you can't give me what I want?" she asked softly._

"_There is nothing I would not give to you." the pad of his thumb brushing her cheek feeling the softness of her skin."What is it that you want?"_

"_I want to remain in your heart, but you can't give that to me if it belongs to another." She said eyes moving away from his again but a shaky hand was placed on his chest over his heart._

"_Then I've already given you what you want, because you've conquered my heart and it could never belong to another." He said._

"_You don't know that, things may change." Her words an echo of what he once spoke to her, he smiled and captured her lips. He was so very glad that he decided to take the afternoon for himself, because here in this meadow he was Arthur and she Guinevere. As her lips kissed him back,he felt the flowers that she held in her arms fall to their feet, as her hands wrapped around her neck and pulled him close. He could feel her warmth, the pressure of her lovely breasts against his chest. _

"_There is only one name in my heart," he said pulling back a little to catch his breath, before his mouth was on her again, his tongue tasting, probing and shocking her. That afternoon he learned Guinevere's mouth throughly, and his heart sang the only name that resided there..._

_...Guinevere._

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It was morning when he finally woke, this time his body didn't feel as heavy. His mind was flooded with images of what happened. The blood on his sword, he could feel his exhaustions as he fought of the many bodies that headed towards him. His eyes narrowing on the hooded figure on the black horse, her emerald eyes familiar yet so foreign now. He sat up and looked at Merlin's sleeping body against a tree. He must have fallen asleep keeping watch. The fire had mostly burned out now, leaving a stream of smoke moving upwards. The morning dew just settling and the sun peaking through the trees.

His mind wondered to the battle again, they had been ambushed on their way back from Odin's kingdom. Odin who turn them away and declared he wanted nothing to do with Arthur, he would stay neutral in this warm between him and his half sister witch. Arthur tried to voice his thoughts but once again they fell on deaf ear, in that moment he was reminded of his own father who often did the very same thing when he thought his pride was more important. They were half a day's ride from Camelot when the soldiers in black swooped down from the trees and took them by surprise, hundreds to the thirty men he had with him. Morgana was a hundred men all on her own with the magic she possessed.

He left Camelot defenseless, he left his queen and people defenseless against Morgana! Suddenly as if the pieces were falling to place in his mind, his eyes widen. "Merlin!"

Merlin jerked awake, it seemed his spell worked and Arthur was alright, he imagined that he'd still be a bit sore but no harm done. "Good morning to you too!" he said rubbing his eyes clear to look at his king. It was then did he realize that Arthur had indeed had enough time to pull it back together, and that meant he knew that Camelot and Gwen were in trouble.

"We have to head to Camelot!" Arthur exclaimed waiting for Merlin to get to his feet. "Why aren't you moving?!"

Merlin looked up at him, "Arthur, we need a plan, we need to be prepared for what we may face..." that Gwen will not be waiting for you was the unspoken words. He watched the blond man's jaws tighten, the fire in his eyes light, he's seen it enough time to know that every hair on his body was now calling out to her.

"No, Gwaine and Percival would have protected her, taken her out of Camelot. We're going now!"

"Arthur!" Merlin called now on his feet.

Arthur turned around, his eyes so hard that Merlin felt his feet turing to stone, "what?"

Merlin bit the inside of his cheek before speaking, "Morgana is so much stronger now, and if we rush in there without any forethought, and there is a chance that Gwen got away, you will get yourself killed. Remember that Gwen and Camelot needs you alive."

Arthur listened his eyes staring into Merlin, his mind running hundreds of scenarios as to what happened, she couldn't be dead, not when he was able to live to get back to her. When he finally spoke in a calmer voice he simply said, "let's go."

Merlin followed quietly keeping a few paces back, he needed his own plan just incase Arthur decided to be an idiot. He didn't know what greeted them, but one thing he knew for sure was Morgana wouldn't be easy take, not this time. She's learned, she's gotten stronger, and though he hoped that her hot headiness still lingered, he wouldn't be taking any chances. He wouldn't let anything happen to Arthur.

Arthur knew he was being rash, but he couldn't just sit around idly planning. He needed to make sure his people were safe. But how could they be with Morgana and her band of mercenaries looting the city? What he needed more was to know that Gwaine and Percival had indeed kept their word, but he knew that holding them to such an oath when they were out numbered and against Morgana was unfair. In his internal battle he realized he didn't have Excalibur with any longer, he stopped and looked at Merlin, "I don't have a sword."

Merlin smiled at him, "You do, we just have to go get it." In the years that Arthur had acquired Excalibur, and the many minor battled fought, Merlin came to the conclusion that he would lose it in battle and since it was a blade made especially and magically for Arthur he needed to make sure that if ever out of Arthur's grasp that Excalibur would be hidden from anyone else. He cast the spell one rainy afternoon while he was cleaning Arthur's armor. A combination spell that would both protect the sword and help either Arthur or himself to locate the blade. Arthur being connected to Excalibur by ownership and to him by magic. He was so proud of it when he had concocted this particular spell on his own, never really thinking just how useful his burst of creativity and whim would help them now.

Arthur watched Merlin for a good few seconds, the young man always peculiar, but lately he saw something else in him, as if his buffoonery was just an illusion, he had times shown his wisdom, but Arthur always chalked that up to a moment of clarity and sense rather than anything deeper. "alright lead the way Merlin, since you seem to have a sense for these things."

Merlin smiled, "finally some recognition of my abilities!"

Arthur couldn't help but curve a smile and shake his head as he followed. Maybe, just maybe there was hope yet.

TBC

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Please Review!


	5. Chapter 5

AN: When I write I'm usually always trying to improve and most times I'm not 100% happy with it, because then there would be no posts from me, but I feel a little disappointed with this chapter, I tried to change it a few times but this is the end result, any I hope you guys still think it's good. Enjoy and please review!

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"_And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack  
__And all around the world was waking, I never could go back  
__'Cause all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open  
__And finally it seemed that the spell was broken"_

_-Blinding by Florence + The Machine_

**Chapter 5**

_It was a particularly long day for Guinevere, usually she enjoyed her work and did it diligently but today she was feeling lethargic, as if every step she took felt like five. Her mornings always started early, she was one of the first to start work, helping in the kitchen before taking breakfast up to Morgana, between doing all of the chores for Morgana and helping out here and there around the castle her day went by quickly. She only felt like this when she was about to come down with something._

_She had promised Merlin she would take over his chores for the afternoon, as he had something to do for Gaius, and she didn't mind making up Arthur's bed. It was a chance to be close to him without anyone questioning her motives. It was exhausting to be in love with the prince she found, not for the reasons it should be rather the back and forth, the constant worry of discovery, and the biggest fear of them all was his marriage to some beautiful princess. She wasn't a fool, perhaps a little bit of a fool but not enough to let her heart be completely fooled by what this romance was._

_She didn't doubt Arthur's love, no, it was simply that Uther would never let them be. The king of Camelot had plans, and he needed his heir for those plans, a servant with nothing to her name will never be part of those plans. She shook herself awake for the hundredth time that day and walked into Arthur's chambers. She knew he was training and for that reason alone did not bother to knock, though she imagined that Arthur was used to Merlin just barging in whenever he please. She smiled at the thought of her brave but silly friend. The young boy she once had a mad crush on because he defied a prince and stood up for what was right. Merlin was the best thing that could've happened to Arthur._

_She took great care to put away his laundry, tidied his work table, and finally made up his bed with the fresh linen she brought up. She ran her hand over the fabric, there was something so exciting about begin this close to his bed even if he wasn't in it, something very domestic, as if the tasks she just completed were the ones that a wife would for her husband. He rested his head here every night, she wondered what he dreamt of, she pictured him here reading over some treaty or completing paper work that Uther had given him. It was in these quiet moments she sometimes let herself dream of what a life with Arthur, as his wife would be like. If they were just two people, no titles._

_She sighed lifting her hand, no pulling her hand away from his bed and bringing to her chest to hold against her, as if she was burnt by the thing. She always pulled herself back before she delved too deep. But today she was feeling weak, all she wanted to do was be wrapped up in him. Be comforted by his warmth and close her eyes to dream. Suddenly on whim she sat down on the bed that she had made, just moments before making sure there wasn't a single crease. She felt her weight sink into the mattress, and wondered with flushed cheeks what it would be like to lay here with Arthur wrapped around her. She closed her eyes and envisioned him kissing her and caressing her, and the sigh that escaped her lifted the heaviness from within her just a little. She remained there with eyes closed, telling herself that she would move in a minute._

_When she opened her eyes again, she felt a little disoriented, looking up and noticing the canopy of the bed curtains she almost gasped. She fell asleep in Arthur's bed! With any luck it was just for a few minutes and she could sneak out without him or anyone ever knowing. She tried to sit up, but her head felt as if it were a boulder, her eyes burnt, and her throat was parched. She was definitely ill. _

"_Don't move..." she heard him say softly, and her heart turned cold from a combination of fear and embarrassment. She didn't know what to do, heed his order or just get up apologize and run. She opted for getting up, with all the strength she could muster at that moment she sat up, and right away her eyes connect with his. He stood by the window, leaning almost casually against the wall, arms folded over his chest. He looked unhappy._

"_I'm so sorry...I don't know what happened...I apologize! I'll remake the bed with some clean linens right away-"_

"_Guinevere!"_

_His voice was so stern, she didn't know where to look but at her lap. Oh for the love of Camelot she was still just idly sitting on his bed, she felt frozen for a moment, before she willed her body to start moving. But he was faster, he was standing in front of her, cupping her face between his large cool hands, oh how they felt nice against her burning flesh. When she looked at him, the anger still lingered in his eyes but they were softer, almost concerned. She opened her lips to speak, but once again he beat her to it._

"_You're ill." He stated at first, watching her reaction. When she shook her head lightly and looked away from him pulled her gaze back to him, "Guinevere you're burning up. Why aren't you at home resting?"_

_She suddenly wondered if the anger was more for her being at the castle while ill than her falling asleep on his bed. "I'm fine, just a little head cold. I just needed to finish up your room, before going home. I'm sorry I did not mean to fall asleep here."_

"_You're not fine, and why are you doing Merlin's work?" he asked now his anger directed at his fool of a servant. _

_She smiled at him, "he asked me a couple of days ago, and I said I didn't mind. He needed to do something. It's what friends do, they help each other when necessary."_

_His eyes softened, then he did something almost shocking for Guinevere's fever ridden mind. He placed a kiss on her forehead gently and pulled her close to him. She hesitated for a moment before she wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. "I'm sorry..."_

_She sighed but didn't move, she couldn't really. "What are you sorry for?"_

_He was still, his breathing the only indication he was present before in the most gentle voice she's ever heard he said. "I'm sorry you are ill and I can't do anything to make it easier for you."_

_It suddenly occurred to her that this was just as hard for him as it was for her, like her he couldn't show the affection that he wanted, something so simple as a touch or chaste kiss was a great feat. Her need to be there for him, to comfort him was the same for him. They were both bound by their status, slaves to it really, but even then some how they managed to love. At this moment what he was doing was enough said without words. Since her father died she felt more lonely when she fell ill, because when he was alive he was her support, he would make her tea, brush back her curls and smile at her warmly. But she knew that if she didn't have Arthur, Merlin, and Morgana in her life she'd be lonelier. They had become her family._

"_You're doing more than enough now, and I'll be fine." she whispered. "Thank you Arthur for comforting me."_

_Her dream had come true that evening, he held her to him for hours, brushed back her curls and spoke gently to her about his day, and idle things. Brought her water and even held the goblet up to her lips, later he would slice up apples and share them with her. He cared for her as a husband would for his wife. His eyes full of concern and love for her, the no body servant girl. It was one of those perfect moments really where she was too tired and delirious from the fever and happiness to care about the consequences if they were caught. She knew then what it felt like to lie in a bed with Arthur, and with all her heart's might she hoped that one day she wouldn't have to leave it and sneak out in the middle of the night for it would be their bed. That they would have a life together, a shared home, and a family._

_For those few hours in his arms, she didn't have to dream because she was living it._

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She was ill, her head pounded. She ran behind a bush and retched, before she was faced with what was left in her stomach from the last meal she had. She brushed away the tears that the process produced. Taking a deep breath she turned to find Gaius standing behind her with the water skin. She took it from him and rinsed her mouth before taking a drink. "Thank you, Gaius."

The old man nodded but he did not move from his spot. "Gwen..."

"I'm alright Gaius, must just be nerves." She tried with a weak smile.

"My dear I've been a physician for too many years to know the difference. You are with child, I have suspected for a few days now." He simply stated as he would with any woman who displayed the symptoms. But he knew that this wasn't a normal situation and where there would be joy in the possibility of an heir, there was only grief.

She clutched her middle protectively and her eyes blurred with the tears that seem endless the last couple of days. "I suspected as well...but now I don't know if a child born midst all of this hatred is something I want, it's not something Arthur would've wanted."

Gaius stepped up to her placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, "my dear a child born anywhere at any time is a gift, it is the most natural magic there is."

Guinevere looked at him, she felt so hopeless, and helpless. "Arthur would've been so happy, I was so happy when I thought it so. The only way to protect this child is to make sure Morgana is defeated once and for all. But I fear that my quest is a futile one, for in the hopes of ridding the world of her, I might lose my child as well. I don't know if I can do this without Arthur."

Gaius sighed, "you must choose, but whatever it is that you choose you must take care." He realized the implications of Guinevere's words, if Morgana was hell bent on killing her because she was queen, an heir would be the biggest threat; for that child would have more right to the throne than either women. He suddenly felt aged and weary, his life dedicated to Camelot he never had children of his own. Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, and Gwen were like his children. The idea of a child out of the union of Arthur and Gwen warmed his heart, it should be celebrated, yet here they were worrying about a babe that hadn't yet come to the world but the odds were against it.

She straightened, "no one must know." Taking more water she handed the skin back to Gaius. "I need you to accompany Percival and the people of Camelot, they will need you."

"You need me, the future king of Camelot is growing within you." He whispered sternly. "You must care for yourself now, the babe needs you to help it grow."

"And I will, Gaius I have seen you treat women who were with child, and I have been around enough to know what must be done. This is not how I imagined I would mother a child, but however this is what is happening, I need to make sure that Morgana cannot hurt him and the only way to do that is to make sure she does not take another breath to be able to do it."

He folded his hand inside his robes and stood tall, "I fear for you Gwen, I fear you are being clouded over with your anger. These emotions will not be good for your child or you. Not to mention if you are injured in battle you will surely lose the child."

"My anger is the only thing holding me together. She has taken so much from me. I feel as if I am drowning in sorrow. Because of her my child will be fatherless, because of her the people of Camelot will suffer. She I fear is worse than Uther." A bite in every word she spoke. "I will have to take a chance with losing the babe, but there are things that must be done, things that Arthur would want me to do."

Gaius sighed, "I will not stop you from what you seek to do, just know that all Arthur would've wanted is for you to be safe, for his child growing within to be safe."

She looked at him intently before she could speak Gwaine strolled up to them. "I have acquired two horses. We shall ride when you are ready." She nodded at both men before she walked away from them. Gwaine watched her leave and looked to the older man. "She will not back down from this, I will protect her with my life."

"I know you will, but I worry for her sanity." Said Gaius looking at the younger man next to him, he wondered about Gwen's words but decided it was necessary that he tell Gwaine about her condition, a womb at any stage in child bearing is so vulnerable. Even if Gwen thought she knew what she was would be sacrificing, if the the child died she would not be able to forgive herself, it would drive her to madness if she wasn't already there. "Gwaine you must protect her from any and all harm no matter the cost. She is with child."

Gwaine opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, his eyes widen at the news. His heart sinking at the realization that it was for that reason Gaius was so adamant about changing her mind or accompanying them. His jaws tightened at the thought of Gwen's recklessness, yet he couldn't blame her for what she was feeling, for putting Camelot before herself. "I vowed to Arthur, and I will keep my word. I shall let nothing happen to while there is a breath left in me."

Gaius nodded, "you must be at her side at all times, make sure she cares for herself. I feel consternation at what she might become. No one can know of her condition. Gwen has always been one who has been able to forgive, to love no matter what, but I fear losing Arthur might have left her with little kindness."

Gwaine smiled then and placed a hand on Gaius' shoulder, "she is full of kindness that woman. If there is one thing Guinevere is that is kind and loving." His usual playfulness back in his eyes for a second, "Lady luck has always been on our side, she will be on our side now. And that child is blessed because he is already loved by many."

Gaius chuckled softly, if there was anyone that was resilient at surviving it would be Gwaine. He knew he could trust the young man to try his hardest to keep Gwen safe, but the worry didn't lie in his ability or loyalty, it was just the very real fact that Morgana was more powerful than any of them alone.

Guinevere called everyone's attention to announce what was decided, what she decided. They gathered like sheep for what more could they do? Because together there was a chance, alone there was no one. It was human nature to want to form bonds and band together for survival. "I cannot promise you anything at this moment, I am afraid that I don't have the power to offer just things, but what I can offer you is a chance. Sir Percival along with the few soldiers we have among us and Gaius will escort you to Caerleon. You shall seek refuge there while Sir Gwaine and I gather allies to take back our home, our Camelot."

They listened, they cheered, but she wasn't convinced so she offered the out, "I am your queen, but I will not keep anyone who does not want to follow our path. If there is anyone who wishes to go free, you have my consent, but I can not offer you anything more. Prepare to leave immediately, we can't wait here for Morgana to discover us. I wish all of you a safe and uneventful journey, trust Sir Percival for your King trusted him." With that she stepped away, her throat dry once again.

Percival approached, "I have to ask you one more time to reconsider, come with us, we can offer the people safe passage then we can gather allies together."

Guinevere folded her hand in front of her but she smiled as he remembered her when she was happy. "You must do as I ask. We will see each other again, we shall fight side by side to take back our home for those who we love and for those who lost their lives for Camelot." Even in her tunic and trousers she looked regal, every bit the queen. "Be safe my friend."

He kneeled in front of her, "and you my queen, take care." It was then did he feel her cool but strong hands on his shoulders, she smiled at him and helped him stand once again. He knew there was hope for he saw it in her eyes, she wasn't completely lost yet.

She walked towards Gaius and embraced the older man who has been like a father to her. "Thank you for all you've done for me. The care and concern you spared me. Take care and I pray we will see each other once again."

He held her before she pulled out of his embrace, "I have faith in you, I know you will be successful." He then pulled out a two vials and handed to her, "take this one and it will curb the sickness some, and this one will give you strength."

"Thank you, I wish you a safe journey." She said taking them from him, with that she walked towards the horses and placed the vials in the sack that was already packed there. Pulled the hood of her cloak up and mounted the horse. She looked at the camp that was slowly being pulled apart and packed away, her people once again torn and having to start over. Watched Gwaine say farewell to Percival and Gaius with affection. She felt full of purpose yet she still felt empty. She felt heartbroken that even with the knowledge that she had Arthur's child growing within she still felt such misery.

"Ready?" Gwaine asked as he rode up next to her.

She looked at him and nodded, "Yes." With that they rode toward east, she told herself over and over again that this is what Arthur would have done. Yet she doubted herself, she doubted that she stood a chance against Morgana, all she knew was that Morgana needed to be stopped, for the sake of her child.

TBC

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Please Review!


	6. Chapter 6

AN: To start sorry that I have not been able to update as often as the last few chapters, life just got in the way, and in all honesty I got caught up in being lazy. To the person that guess that it will be a while before Arthur and Gwen reunite, you are very correct. My goal is to write about how each fuel the other's will to do better and live. Also I think Gwen's strength is underestimated by many so I thought I'd write something where a woman is more powerful than a man-the tiny feminist in me came out!

By the way I have no idea the extent of Merlin's power, i.e. just how much he knows on his own, and how much is spells and incantations, and have to be studied, but I'm assuming that at this point he can do quite a bit with his powers. Just thought I mention it if my interpretation of his magic is completely wrong. Also I will periodically mention this-the lake of Avalon is not on the Merlin map of Camelot, but I'm assuming that it's the white mountains you see as the backdrop of the lake, so the lake of Avalon in this story will be located between/ part of the southwest side of the Darkling woods and the White mountains. The last chapter and this chapter was hard for me to write since I kept wanting to go back and start over, but once again I hope that it is somewhat enjoyable. Please leave a review!

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"_And is it worth the wait  
__All this killing time?  
__Are you strong enough to stand  
__Protecting both your heart and mine?"_

_-Heavy in Your Arms by Florence + The Machine_

**Chapter 6**

They walked for what felt like hours, Arthur watched Merlin closely, how he stopped at every fork and somehow knew which trail to take, he wondered why they were walking so far from where the sword would've been discarded after he fell, but after having Merlin around for as long as he did, he learned to let the strange young man lead, for most times he did not disappoint. Excalibur was different from any sword he'd ever used, he could feel the sharpness of the steel when he cut through something, he could feel the strength that the sword exuded almost as if it had a soul and he felt the kinship as if the sword was made for him.

Though this last battle against Morgana, not even Excalibur stood a chance. His mind once again wondering, how he watched his men fall. Elyan and Leon two of his best knights fallen, but he didn't know if they were truly gone. He almost praised Merlin's cowardice because if he hadn't been hiding then he wouldn't have found him and he wouldn't be alive now. Merlin was such a mystery sometimes, he was there in the right place at the right time. The he couldn't really call him a coward when on so many occasions he'd readily tried to give up his life for him, no there was something more to Merlin.

"How did you escape?" He found himself stopping for a second watching Merlin stop as well to turn to look at him.

Merlin's eyes every once in a while took on such strength that Arthur forgot who he was talking to, "I didn't almost, Leon distracted the guards long enough for me to pull Elyan's body away from harm, it must have been Leon who bought you to that clearing. Morgana's stronger now, far stronger than I've ever seen her."

Arthur's brows knit together, "Elyan is alive?"

Merlin gave a slow nod, "He was knocked unconscious but he wasn't hurt as badly as you were, I hid him well, when he comes to he should be able to fend for himself until we find him. I had to leave him to come looking for you." He didn't mention that he had healed Elyan as well, and made sure to put him in a deep sleep as well, if his magic was good for something it was making sure people slept well.

Arthur stood there and looked at his man servant pressing his lips together at the words that fell from his lips, the fact that he was so casual about coming to find him. Merlin never hesitated risking his life for him, had unbelievable faith in him, and probably saved his life more times than he gave him credit for, but somehow just how much this small person could do made him thankful that not all deceived him, that there were those who risked everything for him everyday. Not by order, or bound by duty but from simple honest loyalty and friendship. "What of Leon?"

Merlin sighed, "I don't know, I couldn't find him when I was searching for you, I didn't see him fall, I don't know the extent of his injuries."

Arthur thought for a moment his hand going to his side, he was definitely sore, and there was dry blood on the broken chain mail but he didn't know if it was his or someone else's. "I could've sworn I took a blade to my side." Yet he couldn't feel the pain of a wound there.

Merlin nodded, "maybe it felt like that. But when I found you, you were bruised badly but nothing life threatening." He shrugged and turn to walk again.

Then why did it feel like he was going to die? He remembered thinking that he was going to die, had he become so weak that a few bruises stopped him from fighting? Then suddenly he didn't know why but he stated, "like when I thought I was pierced by an arrow but you told me it missed me."

Merlin kept walking almost unfazed, "yea, like that." At this point lying was becoming second nature, not his proudest achievement but there was just too much at stake for him to falter now. It's was his hesitation in the past that put them all in this situation the first place, had he just let Morgana die then she couldn't have hurt any of them. He wondered if Arthur was beginning to notice these oddities in his stories, if he was questioning his words and how absurd they seemed even to him at times. But he supposed if he kept brushing with death that he wouldn't question too much how he avoided it.

Arthur watched him for a while, his hand still where he thought he was struck, watching as the distance between them grew and he stood rooted. When had he become so fragile? There were many times when he doubted himself but lately that doubt seem to grow bigger and bigger within him. Everyone knew what they had to do, knew their strengths and weaknesses and in that he no longer knew where he stood. It was when Merlin spoke again that he snapped out of his reverie, "we're waking towards the lake of Avalon if you're wondering."

"Why there?" asked Arthur finally taking strides to catch up to Merlin, "Is that where you put Elyan?" Thinking that it was quite far of a journey to put him to safety.

"No we'll collect him after, assuming he hasn't wondered off, in which case he'll just have to find us, won't he." Said Merlin. "We're heading there because I have a feeling that's where we'll find Excalibur."

"Merlin, really how would Excalibur get that far, did it grow some legs and wonder there?" Asked Arthur questioning Merlin's rational once again.

Merlin turned and smiled that goofy smile at him and simply said, "trust me."

He did, he trusted him more than anyone really- the only other person he trusted was Guinevere. After everything he's been through with the lies and deception he didn't know if there was a way to trust anyone ever again, but Merlin was always consistent in his loyalty. Guinevere, he knew her to be loyal yet there was still that moment in time where Lancelot tore them apart. He didn't think of that much these past few years as he opted to follow his heart which had forgiven her for her betrayal, but he often wondered if he could trust her. She had done everything and more everyday for the past three years to prove to him that he was the only one in her heart. Yet another mystery he couldn't understand, and it was no longer sufficient to just brush it off as something that fates had in store for him. "Trusting you can be dangerous..."

Merlin laughed then, "well if you must have an explanation, Gaius once told me a story-"

"Oh not another story about Excalibur, you've exhausted them all!" exclaimed Arthur almost like a child.

"Well they've all been true thus far haven't they?!" he asked with an ire in his voice. When Arthur motioned for him to continue he did. "Excalibur is an enchanted sword, it's original home being the lake of Avalon, only the person worthy of it can wield it's power and when the sword is no longer in the possession of it's master it simply returns to it's home awaiting it's mater once more, so that it's powers cannot be used for evil. The reason it was stuck in the stone before was because it's last master put it there."

Arthur sighed and raised his eyebrow at him, "really? We're going there based on a bed time story?"

Merlin shrugged, "at this moment anything is possible and we're not that far from the lake."

Arthur had to agree, at this moment he was willing to try anything, and even if he had a hard time believing. Merlin was right about Excalibur being powerful, he needed a sword and Excalibur was the sword he felt most comfortable with now. And he did pull the blade out of stone! "I suppose you're right."

They had been ambushed just as they were entering the Darkling woods, they were so close to home. Morgana had know all along of their route, of their plans, which only assured Arthur that there was another traitor amongst him. Morgana the girl he once thought would be his wife, then he grew up and realized she was nothing more than a sister, later it would be revealed that she was indeed his half sister, and would explain his father's extraordinary fondness for her. But through it all he couldn't understand why she hated him so, what had he ever done to hurt her? Thinking about such things only made him weary. He knew he wasn't blameless in all that's happened, but somehow her claim to the throne didn't seem just about birth right or the vengeance she claimed she had a right to. No, it was about power now, she was consumed with crushing everything and everyone. All he knew was that if Guinevere wasn't alive, there would be no more hesitation in his heart about killing Morgana.

They walked for what seemed like hours, the morning turing to afternoon, talking about idle things to keep their minds from wondering too far. Arthur still felt weak, and he assumed that Merlin was probably just as exhausted if not more as he was, and just as hungry. But neither stopped, and neither voiced their exhaustion. It was just before sunset they reached the lake, watching as the orange, red and yellow hues melted with blues and purples of the approaching twilight. Merlin stood still in front of the lake. These waters housed his first love, and his friend of great nobleness, these waters the gateway to the other side. He focused on Excalibur's magic, but to his surprise when he turn to look at Arthur, it was he who walked forward almost as if something was guiding him.

Arthur felt the pull instantly, he rarely came to the lake of Avalon but whenever he did, there was this feeling of warmth within him, this time however he felt as he felt when he was holding Excalibur in his hand, following the pull he stepped into the water. His eyes searched and finally landed on the glimmering blade, he extended his hand and as if by magic the blade floated to him glowing gold. He grasped it and the same surge of power ran through him as the very first time he pulled the blade from the rock, it was as if a piece of him had been returned to him.

Merlin stood back and smiled, proud of his spell that worked marvelously, when he cast it he had no idea that it would return Excalibur to the lake, but today when he focused on the magic of the sword it had pointed to this direction, but what made him feel hopeful wasn't just that Excalibur was once again back in Arthur's possession but that Arthur felt it, felt the pull of it's magic and maybe even believed in it some. He had no grand hopes of changing Arthur's mind about magic, but he believed that if every day he could do something small to make him see that magic wasn't bad then one day he could tell him the truth.

"I told you to trust me." He couldn't help the cheeky comment that fell from his lips as he grinned ear to ear.

Arthur turned towards him almost in daze, "yeah I suppose you did."

"We'll make camp near by, I think it's a safe a place as any for now, we'll find Elyan in the morning." Stated Merlin. "I'll go look for something to make a fire, and maybe some food. You know I didn't think about it until now but I haven't eaten in like two days." He rambled on and disappeared into the woods.

He sat down against a tree looking at the blade which was still in his hand, his mind wondering far from where he was. He stayed in that trance like state until Merlin came back still rambling on about something. Somehow holding the sword let him see into that battle, he watched himself fight, felt the sweat on his brows, felt the slickness of blood on his gloves, he tasted it too. And he felt the blade that pierced him and the eyes of the man who would be victorious in death as Excalibur cut him back. Everything became real once more, and the weight of what he was to expect crushed him a little. He knew what he felt, he felt his own blood trickle out of him, he felt his knees take the force of his fall.

"Arthur?"

He looked at Merlin then, he didn't voice any of what he felt or saw flashing through his head. He simply just stared at his servant. Then his eyes focused on the piece of meat and a leaf full of berries that Merlin held out to him. He dropped the blade next to him and took the food being offered to him managing a soft "thank you," not caring if it was rat or lizard he was eating.

Merlin watched him for a long while as they eat in silence, he knew there were certain connections that Excalibur had with Arthur, and it made him wonder what Arthur felt at this moment that had him so bewildered. But then it had been an exhausting two days, and even if Arthur had no idea how close to death he'd come, Merlin of course knew better. Then there was Gwen, the one for which he knew Arthur had made it this far today. This was usually when he reassured him of his strength and destiny, but Arthur spoke first.

"If Guinevere got out she would've headed towards Caerleon, so that's where we go. From there we gather allies and send word to any citizen of Camelot who would want to join our fight to take back our home. But first we search for Elyan in the morning." He said looking straight at him with the determination that Merlin had seen on his face countless times.

"Sounds like a plan, a better one than barging in on Morgana." said Merlin stroking the fire.

"We're gonna scout out Camelot before we head west. I want to know whose army I'm up against this time." Said Arthur.

Merlin sighed, "of course, why did I even get my hopes up?"

"Get some sleep Merlin. I'll keep watch first." said Arthur turning to face the lake which glowed eerily even in the darkness. Then he suddenly turned to Merlin and softly said, "thank you, Merlin."

To which Merlin simply replied, "don't mention it."

He watched the knight sky, so peaceful and calm, it had no idea the great perils which those looking up had to face, and he wondered if the gods were mocking him. He wondered if this was another test like the one that Anhora had proceeded over, if so then this one was much harder because he didn't think he could live once he knew for sure that Guinevere no longer did. He stared at the twinkling lights spread across the sky, and found his mind wonder back to a night very similar to this one, but he was safe in Camelot and so was Guinevere.

_He was on his way back to his quarters when he saw her leaning against a column looking up. He wondered over. Some time had passed since he had recovered from his fever brought on by the Questing Beast and was on top of his training once more, but there was one particular aliment that wouldn't go away, and that was the soft voice of a certain handmaiden. She haunted him even now as he slept, her words ringing in his head. Though he couldn't remember it all and couldn't get her to repeat them he knew the feel of her touch, the care with which she spoke and brushed his head. _

_He walked up behind her felt the warmth of her skin radiate towards him, and a lingering flowery scent he can only associate with being female, most specifically Guinevere. He looked up to see what she was looking at and the only thing that came to view was the sky strewn with sparkling beads of stars. "What are you looking for so intently?" he asked softly._

_She gasped just as softly but didn't turn to look at him, he took comfort in the simple fact that she'd known it was him. "Just the stars, my lord."_

"_Arthur"_

_It was then she turned her elegant neck to look at him, her eyes puzzled, she was so close that he could count the specks of freckles that graced her lovely face. He realized a while back that he found her to be quite lovely, something about her coloring and the tamed wildness of her curls reminded him of Ealdor and her courage, her fire which existed deep within her mask of calm sensibility. "Call me Arthur."_

_She gave a half smile before she turned back to her star gazing for a moment before looking at him again,"Is there something you needed, Arthur?"_

_She teased him now, but his name on her lips sounded perfect. "No I simply wanted to know what you were looking so intently at." He answered her, but he wanted to tell her how he needed her to repeat those words of comfort and reassurance to him once more and maybe sing his name._

_She smiled gently then, "well if you must know, I was wondering which one of those is my father." Her father, a subject he didn't like to discuss for he knew that there was great wrong doing in that, and that he was partially to blame for that great wrong doing. She was looking at him then perhaps reading his mind like she sort of had the flair for. "When I was younger after my mother died, my father told me that those who we love never really dies, that they are up there in the heavens and those glowing lights are the souls that watched over us, and that it is our memory and thoughts of them that kept them alive and glowing in this world."_

"_Well then I suppose my mother is up there as well, perhaps your mother and father have met my mother." he said almost in a child like manner. He had no memories of his mother, but he had thoughts of her often, he found himself wondering if his thoughts were enough to keep her glowing in the sky._

"_I'm sure she is," Guinevere said softly. "I imagine that up there, they are simple and have nothing keeping them from being with one another, even if she was the queen and my parents commoners."_

_He looked at her then, and it was in that moment he wondered if she thought him as much as he thought of her. "Have you figured out which one is your father?"_

_She laughed, "yes! But I suppose I'm wrong and everyone probably feels as I do about their loved ones."_

_He found himself smile, "well which one is he?"_

"_The northern star, for it glows the brightest and it guides me." She simply said shrugging her shoulders at him. And he only thought that she looked lovely and her laughter was music._

Arthur looked at the brightest star, the northern star and smiled. He didn't need the night sky to know his northern star, because for him it had been Guinevere from that moment on.

TBC

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Please Review!


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Okay so originally when I was thinking about this story I was going to have Gwen, Gaius and the people of Camelot travel together looking for a place to start over but then I started to write and things just took shape on their own though I'm happy with it I feel like now my summary of the story doesn't quite fit but I'll let you guys be the judge of that.

Also incase you were wondering why I use lyrics from Florence and The Machine- I was listening to her when I first started this story then I thought every song has something that can contribute to my writing, set a mood for what I was thinking of when I wrote the chapter. As always enjoy and leave me reviews! If anyone is interested in doing some beta work for me, please send me a PM, as I'm sure a lot of you cringe at my spelling, but more at my grammar.

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"_I swallow the sound and it swallows me whole  
__Till there's nothing left inside my soul  
__As empty as that beating drum  
__But the sound has just begun"_

_-Drumming by Florence +The Machine_

**Chapter 7**

She was exhausted but she refused to stop. Her life as a servant had equipped her with more strength than the average princess of Albion who fainted with a little heat and exhaustion. She was not brought up in such luxuries as they. Everything she's had she sweat for, bleed for. Her love for Arthur was no small feat to over come, but she had faced every challenge thus far with stride. Even when she was banished with nothing but shame, she survived. Her father was a hard working man and had taught her to be hard working, if there was ever a flaw with her father, it was that he loved her too much. If it were not for his love and desire to give her more than he had he'd still be alive. What an ironic twist of fate it was, for now she was a queen.

Gwaine watched her carefully, he could see her shoulders slump lower and lower, her face which usually glowed with mirth and confidence was now pale. "We should stop for a bit." He pretended to look up at the sky to tell time, to come up with an excuse for her to agree.

She knew exactly what he was doing, but she also knew that her fatigue wasn't only on the travel but from her child bearing. She sighed and nodded, she needed to rest even if for a moment, she had promised Gaius, and she promised in the name of Arthur that she wouldn't let anything happen to their child. All she had left in this world was this life growing inside of her, the testament to the love she and Arthur shared. She felt Gwaine's hands on her waist helping her down from the horse, she didn't protest for once her feet touched the ground her world spun. If it were not for Gwaine's arms on her shoulders she would've surely fallen. "Thank you." She offered as he walked her to a fallen tree.

"A queen should always have a lady in waiting, since you lack that now, I shall be your man in waiting." He said with a smile trying to lighten her mood, though he himself was exhausted from all that had transpired in the past two days. He wanted to support her and if it were not for the child she carried he would've thought her idea was a good one. It was much faster to ride without a horde of bodies trailing you. But that all changed the moment Gaius had disclosed her condition. He didn't think her fragile, far from it, she was a strong woman but even strong women were vulnerable in this state. He didn't want to question her motives.

Guinevere looked at him and actually smiled, Gwaine was the perfect person for gloomy days his constant rambling eventually did make you smile. "I'm quite capable of taking care of myself, I wasn't always a queen remember?"

"No then you were a stubborn princess, refusing to let me carry your washings!" he exclaimed.

"My washings which you probably had a mind to rifle through," she teased.

"My lady you shame me, for I am a knight and I live by a code of honor!" He smiled.

"I'm sure that line works well at the taverns."

"No I save these special ones for only you." he says, for a moment feeling like they were back to normal for a spilt second, they it was he who broke it. "Gwen, I don't know if this journey is a good idea for you."

She had been looking to the ground smiling when he broke those words to her, her head snapped to look at him, "and why is that?"

Gwaine sighed before saying, "I know."

Of course Gaius would tell him for her safety, yet she was still cross. "Then you must know that I don't intend to bring a child into a world where Morgana is breathing."

"You're fueled with anger, and if there is one thing I know is how you are feeling this moment. If things were different I would not voice concern because I do think you are more than capable of anything you set your mind too, but surely you know just how dangerous this will be for you and the child which grows within you." He said taking a seat next to her once the horses were secured.

"There is no other way..." she said softly. "There was a time when I didn't think I needed to fight too hard because somehow Arthur was always there, but now it seems I'm facing the greatest test not just as a person but as a queen. How can I forget the oath that I took when that crown was place upon my head?" she asked looking at him. "How can I run away and abandon the people Arthur fell for?"

"He would've made sure you were safe first, if he'd known about the child which grows within you, he would've sacrificed everything." Said Gwaine. Though his words were partially true, be also knew that once Arthur had secured Guinevere he'd go back for his people. Gwaine found himself even more in admiration of the woman if front of him, her true loyalty and dedication to the crown.

Guinevere smiled at her friend, "he would've sacrificed anything for anyone he cared for, be it you or me, that was what made him different from his father."

"He also had you to love, his compassion grew because he had someone to love." Said Gwaine saying very un-Gwaine like thing. She looked at him them, her mouth opening to speak except nothing came out, she then gave him a smile, while it didn't spread across her face as he's seen it before, it reached her eyes and for the first time he thought he saw the woman he met all those years ago in there. He was very aware of what politics and royal responsibilities did to women, he watched his own mother wither under the pressures, and of course he didn't help her condition by just leaving to wonder around aimlessly. He would think himself a bit of a hypocrite since he wanted to escape the label on his head but enjoyed the wealth he had to his name to wonder and be careless with his life. It wasn't until he met Merlin and Arthur that fateful day at that tavern did he realize how empty his quest has become.

"We should get moving, we can make a bit more time and reach the other skirts of the next town before dark. I want to get to Lot as quickly as I can." She said breaking through his thoughts which most often he shut out with food, drink and women.

"Are you sure you don't want to rest more?" he asked, he was never one for being husbandly but he care for Guinevere and he sore an oath to protect her to two others besides himself so by definition he had to care.

She stood though her world did take a spin she was steady on her feet, she nodded to him as she made her way to the horses. "I'm fine, we can't stay in these woods, Morgana's men will be looking for me. Im sure she wants nothing but my head on a platter."

"Dark," said Gwaine as he mounted his own horse, but keeping a close eye on her.

They travelled for most of the late afternoon and it was twilight when they came up on Inn, Gwaine has insisted that they spend the night there and out of the woods. She knew he was doing it for her, but his reasoning that they would be able to cover more ground with a proper meal and sleep convinced her. Once again Gwaine was at her side helping her down, and without words took the reigns from her hand and walked the horses to the stable, where a young boy came out to greet him.

Gwen learned many things as having accompanied Morgana on journeys and later taking some of her own that a cloak made from fine fabric was not ideal for travel, one that was made from something sturdy, warm, but breathed well, a cloak that would not only keep you dry, warm, but also obscure to your rank and title for the most part. After becoming queen she was given many lovely gowns and capes, and cloaks but none was better than the black one she had made specifically for travel, though the royal seamstress, Ingrid did protest to her making her own cloak-this was one of the pieces she was most proud of. No one would think her more than a black smiths or a framers daughter in her attire, she knew how to be invisible, she'd done it all her life.

Even Gwaine had taken of the Pendragon cape and wore his wonderer attire. But she knew that Camelot was on their minds, and for her the sigil of the Pendragon house was sewn into her cloak so expertly she doubt it will be found unless it's torn to shreds. It sadden her that they had to hide but it was a necessary caution. She was never one to envy the noble, while they lived lavished lives and had more than they needed they also had their fair share of trouble to deal with. The only time she ever wished her circumstances where different was when Arthur took a place in her heart and refused to leave. The idea of him marrying someone else, loving that woman, building a life with that woman were what her night terrors were about-but now she was that woman, and while she adored being able to call the man she loved husband it came with such grave dowry to fate.

They entered the inn, she kept her hood up until they reached the bar, the barmaid turn to them and gave them a once over before she smiled, "What can I get ya?"

"We require room and board." Gwaine simply said his charming smile plastered on his face, Guinevere was somewhat amused when the barmaid blushed.

"Well I've got two rooms or is it one that you require?" she asked looking over to Guinevere who finally pulled the hood back from her head. She was fairly certain no one knew the look of her yet, and she wasn't dressed like a queen, rather she looked like a traveling woman. For all they knew the queen of Camelot burned with the city.

Gwaine didn't even bother looking at her for approval, "We'll take one room but I require an extra cot if the room you have does not have two beds." With that he simply passed a few gold coins towards her, one more than needed for the room and their evening meal. "We'll also take two suppers, give us a tankard of mead and milk for the lady."

The barmaid pocketed the extra coin and nodded understanding how things were done. She was already calling out orders to the cook and a young boy who they assumed helped run the place, to prepare the room.

Guinevere raised an eyebrow at Gwaine who put a hand on the small of her back and led her to a dark empty corner of the dining area. To anyone there they were a couple out on a journey. "Milk?"

He smiled, "well my mother used to tell me that milk helps you grow big and strong since that is what calves ate to grow into big cows and bulls."

She couldn't help but smile, "so you think I need milk to grow into a big and strong cow?"

His eyes twinkled like old times, these few seconds of raillery made them forget about what they had witnessed and what more they would in the coming days ahead, but the feeling of guilt lingered for being able to smile though they've both lost someone. "Well I hear you're about to take a journey that will require you to be twice as strong as you usually are, so yes. While I am no physician, I have travelled enough to know a little of how I am to look after you."

She was reminded of her child again, not that he ever left her mind, but the very effortless way Gwaine had taken charge of her made her heartache for Arthur. He would've known nothing of cows or milk, but he would've give her the world if she requested it so. "Thank you my friend, you've been nothing but kind to me." She finally said looking down at the table the candle there casting a glow around them that both comforted and scared her.

"You were once kind to me, and have been countless times after, it's time to repay the debt that is friendship I'm afraid." He said with a smile. "I will be strong for you Gwen, even when you feel you can't be."

She said nothing because she didn't want to voice false valor or fortitude, when in truth she had little left. Arthur was her rock and she on longer had anything grounding her, but Gwaine's words and the thought of her and Arthur's child gave her something to tie her to this world. They said no more, when their dinner came to ate in silence and after went to their room. Some how they needed no words and it wasn't wise to talk about things such as who they were or where they came from as Morgana probably thought spread her men. It wasn't awkward to be sleeping in a room with another man that was not her husband, no because like her husband she trusted the man now snoring away. Gwaine apparently was a fast sleeper and to his credit he had only a few hours of sleep since they escaped. She offered to take first watch because she knew he was more worn out than her and also because though she was tired her mind wouldn't let her rest.

She laid their in the dimly light room and thought about her father, and wonder if now there would be another star next to the northern star for Arthur. She sighed pushing back the tears that she kept promising herself she wouldn't shed but couldn't keep from doing so. Her hands went to her stomach and she rubbed absently. '_I will protect you little one, I will make sure nothing happens to you. That Morgana can't ever look upon you with her hateful eyes._' she realized the extent of her hatred, she was aware already but now the way it run through so easily it both scared her and exhilarated her, for the first time she knew the power of vengeance and her once soft heart sang a different lore.

She pulled at the ring once again around her neck, and kissed it, "Arthur." His name a chant, a payer perhaps to guide her. She closed her eyes, the tears streaming down the side of her face and into her ear and hair, the dampness going unnoticed. Her mind wondering to the perfect first proposal of marriage, and the second forgiving and attest of his love for her. With those thoughts in her mind she drifted to sleep.

When she woke again, she saw that Gwaine was already up sitting on his cot, head against the wall, one knee on the cot the other ground to the floor. "Good morning princess." She sat up and nodded.

"I'm sorry I must've fallen asleep." She said.

"You were exhausted, I'm happy that you rested." He simply said. "I've gone down to get us breakfast, Beatrice says she'll bring it up for us."

"Beatrice huh?" she asked as she went to the wash basin and freshened up. "How long have I been sleeping for you to get to know the barmaid so well?"

Gwaine smiled, "I'm a charming fellow, most woman willing give me their name, only one woman gave me a hard time." He said pointedly with a grin on his lips.

She smiled and shook her head, pulling her hair and braiding it again for the journey ahead. "How far are we from King Lot's castle?"

His eyes sadden but he answered seriously, "not far, we should be there by late afternoon. Gwen, I don't know what kind of reception we'll get."

"I don't plan on getting a grand reception. We're going to sneak in, we have no idea if he's in with Morgana and I don't plan to find out by giving you and myself to her with a bow tied around her wrists." She said sitting down on the bed.

Gwaine smiled, "well what you know the princess knows a thing or two about strategy."

She smiled just as there was a knock at the door, Gwaine stood and pulled the door open smiling brightly at their barmaid. "Good morning!"

"Good morning, thank you from bringing us breakfast." said Guinevere with a small smile.

Beatrice smiled, "well of course, you're paying for it aren't ya?" she placed the tray or bread, cheese, and some fruit on the spare chair, "Now there is tea and milk for the lady." She said standing straight and handing towards the door, she looked at Gwaine and batted her lashes, "You mentioned you liked apples," as she fished out the fruit from within her bosoms.

Gwaine smiled and took the apple, while Guinevere wondered how she even managed to place that there with the corset she wore, but she supposed barmaids had their trade tricks as well, she heard Gwaine say his thanks and Beatrice giggle before the door closed. "Charming..."

"You know that I am!" He exclaimed taking a bite from the fruit, as she shook her head.

Once they were done with breakfast they paid for some extra bread and cheese, bid Beatrice good-bye and were on the trail towards Lot's castle.

* * *

They had been riding for a few hours when they saw the smoke, and in the distance red. They rode up to where there was once a fire burning, Gwaine looked around, "the fire went out an hour maybe a little more, I thought I saw red capes, but maybe I was wrong."

"You weren't wrong." She said pointing up towards the tree, he followed her eyes and his hands fell limp to his sides.

She felt her stomach turn at the smell and sight of what they saw. Bodies of men wearing the red cape of Pendragon, of Camelot hanging lifelessly on the tree branches like dark rotting fruit. She put her hand to cover her mouth and nose, to breathe, to not spill her breakfast. Her eyes stung with tears from the combination of the scene before her and her body attacking itself with sickness.

"Well now we know what happened to the men," Gwaine said softly his own eyes flashing with anger at the men that he once fought side by side with.

Guinevere turned and spewed. Coughing as pieces stuck to her throat and some travel into her nose. She held her stomach tightly as the other went to hold back her braid. She spit and looked up at Gwaine with red watery eyes, "sorry."

He said nothing and just handed her the water skin, his eyes still on the bodies hanging, his jaw clenched. She took the water from him and cleaned her mouth, before drinking some, taking a swig from the vile that Gaius gave her she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" They turned and found themselves surrounded by what looked like bandits. Going back to back they faced the ruthless looking men wondering if they were responsible for the bodies that now hung over their heads.

TBC

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Please Review!


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I know it's been ages since I last updated but I've just been so busy with moving (AGAIN) and the stress that it involves. Anyway I'm back now, I had a few chapters half way typed up-just needed to finish them. I'm changing up the pattern a bit for this one, but I'm sure you'll keep up. Enjoy and please review, I was a little disappointed with the review for the last chapter, but have high hopes for this one!

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"_And we come back  
__we'll be dressed in black  
__and you'll scream our names aloud  
__and we won't eat and we won't sleep  
__we'll drag bodies from their graves"_

_-Spectrum by Florence + The Machine_

**Chapter 8**

"Hello, brother." her icy words rang through him as his eyes adjusted on her. She was mostly the same in appearance the difference was the warmth that once radiated from her was gone replaced by a look of frigid hate in her eyes. Suddenly he wondered if she was always like this and he failed to notice or if she was driven to this madness. He could hardly remember how he ended up in front of her on his knees, hands bound behind his back. While his mind tried to put the missing pieces together, a part of him listen to her speak. "I must admit Arthur, you are one hard man to kill. I should know I've been trying for years now. However I suppose even I would evade death if I had such powerful forces helping me stay alive. I don't know what you offered Emrys or why he continues to help you when all you've ever done is prosecute his kind, but I can assure you this time around both you and he will meet your end."

He could feel the soreness on the side of his face as his head ached. He watched her approach him like a snake that stalks it's prey, no this wasn't the same Morgana he'd known for the better part of his life, no she changed from who he knew her to be into who she was now in less than half a decade. The terrifying thing about that was he wondered if for the better part of his life he lived a lie. "I tried to be fair." He didn't know why he needed to justify anything to her anymore, but he felt with her being his sister and having magic he owed her some consolation.

"_Fair?_" she bit back, "I see, yes, you've evolved dear brother from Uther's influence, that is why those with magic can live and practice their gift freely-oh wait, no they can't." Her eyes narrowed and her voice became even colder if it was possible. "You like to delude yourself with such chatter, you've done nothing to change. You've done nothing to make a difference!"

He glared at her, he was getting tired of her games, of her attempts at his life and Camelot. It was the first time in a long time he found he saw the ruthlessness in her eyes that he saw in his father's eyes from time to time when he was prosecuting a magic user. He suddenly saw what everyone saw, he suddenly remembered the fear that his father invoked and now Morgana took his place to terrorize those who would not bend to her will. "Are you fair?"

Morgana's brows knit together in anger, "What?"

Arthur asked again, watching her eyes grow darker, "are you fair? Can you say that you've acted fairly in all you've done in this quest for vengeance and power?" She didn't answer, but he saw the tension building within her, he saw her fists, and the gold in her piercing green eyes. "So tell me _sister_, how are you any different from what you accuse me of?"

"Throw him in the dungeons!" She yelled and turned away from him, but he could sense the turmoil in her. With that he almost satisfactorily took another blow to the back of the head.

* * *

_They looked from the hills towards Camelot, Arthur could hardly believe the state of Camelot. It was so easy he realized to destroy something, and took years to rebuild. He looked to Merlin who once again had that look of contemplation. He knew that every time Merlin faced Morgana he too felt just a little confused and perhaps responsible for her state of being. For he knew that once when things were simple and they were but children pretending to be grown, Merlin cared for his sister._

"_I think we can use the tunnels and get to the dungeons, from there we'll know whose where." Said Merlin still scanning the area around the outer walls of the city. "Though I think there is a chance that Morgana wouldn't keep Gwen that far from her."_

_Arthur watched his friend, "What do you mean?"_

_Merlin smiled almost softly, "As much as Morgana despises Gwen for being queen, there is still some care for her there, I've seen it, and there is the whole thing of how much you care for Gwen."_

"_She would use Guinevere to get to me." Arthur finished. His brows knitting together in worry. "Let's go."_

"_Arthur"_

_He turned to look at Merlin, his eyes soft and a small smile on his lips, "We'll get her back." Arthur found himself nod before they were making their way towards the tunnels. _

_It seemed easy enough getting to the old tunnels, and he almost felt hopeful that they had a chance, that maybe perhaps Morgana missed this tunnel, but just as those thought entered his mind, he heard foot steps. "Merlin?" he whispered behind him only to turn around and be faced with a grimy faced giant that used the hilt of his sword to knock him to the ground. He found the world turn for a moment and vaguely heard Merlin call out to him before all went black._

* * *

Morgana sipped her wine, how wonderful it was to be living the way she was meant to, like a queen. She had to admit, it was hard at first living in a hovel eating what she could catch to survive, but now those days were gone. She prepared better this time, ensured that her reign would last longer than the last one, this time she had no one she cared for but herself, and she had the one man who could challenge her in her grasp. She supposed that she should worry about Emrys but he was an after thought. While watching her once friend Gwen die would bring her some comfort, she knew that the pitiful little servant could do little to nothing to stop her with her knight in shining armor presumed dead.

The knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts, "come" she said as she watched the young girl that once served Gwen walk into the room with what she had requested. Gwen had no idea that the girl was druid who lost her father to Uther, and that she was nothing but a spy. One thing she could always count on Gwen for was her generosity and naivety. She gave the girl the job of being her handmaid and privy to all that she knew just because she felt some sort of kinship in their common trait of being orphans.

"My lady, I've bought you what you wanted. The blood crystal, it was just where you said it would be in the royal vault, and I've made sure to secure the queen's blood in it as you asked." She said as she placed the item in front of Morgana and bowed her head.

Morgana smiled at her innocence, for she too was naive in her quest for vengeance. She supposed once a long time ago she was as well, but today she was powerful, not one of the five kingdom will dare challenge her, she wasn't as weak as the last time she was within these walls. She had the protection of the white dragon after all. It was all to easy to manipulate the girl into doing her bidding, but she gave credit where it was deserved for she did manage to break into the vault without getting caught and get some of Gwen's blood for the crystal to work, she thought to ask her how she managed that a little later. "Tell me Erin, what is it that you'll do for me?"

The girl's sandy blonde hair bounced up as she looked up at her mistress, her blue eyes shinning with need to please, "anything my lady! You know I serve only you."

She stood and laughed, walking towards the wine pitcher she grabbed another goblet and filled it. "Good, that is all I needed to hear. Now join me in drink." She said handing her the goblet.

"Oh my Lady! I couldn't!" she spouted, fiddling with her hands as she did.

Morgana stepped closer to her, lifting her chin to make the girl meet her eyes. She smiled almost kindly and said, "I insist, we must celebrate what we've accomplished and what we will accomplish when we bring Arthur Pendragon to his knees with grief."

There was that spark of vengeance in her eyes as she nodded and took the goblet. "Yes."

"Tell me how you managed the servant's blood." she said as she leaned against the table in front of her girl. "And don't just hold it, drink the damn thing."

She nodded and took a sip, "well my lady the queen was-"

"Stop referring to her as queen! I am now your queen!" She said as she slammed her own goblet down.

Erin flinched and looked down, "I'm so sorry my Lady!"

Morgana pushed some hair from her face and smiled again, "no it's quite alright, continue."

"Umm, well the servant as you call her was out riding and she fell from her horse, I happen to spook the horse and when she hit her head and fainted, I collected her blood." She said hurriedly.

"Brava!" She clapped, "I'm so pleased with your work dear Erin."

The young girl blushed, "thank you my Lady." and took another sip of the wine.

Morgana watched her for a while, watched the wine relax her, watcher her fear of her dissipate little. "Tell me Erin, what would you do to seek revenge against Arthur? What are you willing to do?"

"Anything!" She said almost too animatedly. Morgana smiled and stood and pulled the girl into her arms.

"Then I shall make your wish come true!" She whispered in her ear, before she pulled back and looked her in the eyes, "together we will cause Arthur so much pain, that in comparison he will know nothing."

"Yes my Lady, I would do anything for you." She whispered now.

Morgana laughed, "good, thats what I like to hear because I will need your help." She said before she cupped her face and kissed the girl. Yes she needed this girl's pathetic need for revenge to bring her half brother to his knees for his crimes, and how glorious it will be for her to watch.

* * *

_She was giggling, her eyes light with mirth. Her delicate hand over her lips as he sat in front of her covered in leaves. It was their first picnic since they've been married, at Merlin's suggestion that he do something for Guinevere to show her that she was still loved and appreciated. Of course she was, he loved her more than he could ever show her. There were few things that could begin to compete with his love for the woman before him._

_He watched her for a few moments longer as the sun bounced of her skin and he felt the warmth in the pit of his stomach. His father never understood that the desire he had for Guinevere wasn't just a youthful lust. No, he had plenty of those, but it was when the idea of Guinevere planted itself in him mind and heart he realized what true desire for just one woman was. While she laughed she didn't noticed him lean forward and grab her waist and pull her down on top of him. They fell with him on his back on the blanket and her sprawled across him. Her curls curtaining the light some._

"_What is it this time? Another wasp?" she asked her hand on his shoulders, lips mere inches from him face and breasts pressed to his chest. She breathed a little fast from the anticipation._

"_Just me, wanting to kiss you because I can."_

"_Oh? Can you?" she asked with a raised brow._

_He leaned forward and captured her lip, tasting the sweetness of the pear she had just moments before. "Yes, because you are mine and I yours."_

_She smiled at him, one hand coming up to cup his cheek before she leaned into him for another kiss. He always felt feverish when she kissed him like this. Her soft lips between his, her warm tongue meeting his every twist and turn. Her hands in his hair, nails scraping his scalp lightly. The delicious press of her breast against him, and her over all warmth._

_He pushed her slightly lips never parting as he flipped them, so she was on her back and him over her. He pressed his groin into the folds of her gown. He missed the delicate material of her gowns she used to wear. His hand on her waist moving like a whisper over her stomach, to ghost over her chest then he captured her hands over her head and deepened the kiss even more. When she needed a breath, he busied himself with her neck, the scent of her lavender locks tickling his senses. _

"_Arthur..."_

_He loved his name on her lips, he loved how she strained to get closer to him, he loved how she tasted. There was a time moments like these were rushed, almost awkward because of all the things that he couldn't say or do for the fear that he would disappoint her, or wouldn't be able to hold up his end of giving them a future. But now she was his, he could touch her when he wanted, she was his present and his future. She would walk beside him and be his companion in light without having to hide. _

_He capture her lips again, now his other hand slowly moving over her torso to rest on a breast. She gasped into the kiss and his tongue soother her. Soon he would peel the green satin gown from her and over every inch of her with his lips, the sun would warm his back and light her skin. He grew harder._

* * *

He felt the ice cold water being splashed on to his face, he looked up and saw Morgana smirking at him, "taking a little nap are we, brother?" He glared at her but said nothing as two men grabbed him under the shoulders and dragged him out. "I have a treat for you. Well it's a treat for me really but I'm sure you'll appreciate it."

He didn't know what was happening, he didn't know if Merlin was dead, at the very least he knew that Elyan was alive. While he was trained to withstand battle, torture was something completely different. He wondered why Morgana just didn't kill him, what could she gain from keeping him locked away? But then did anything she do make sense to him anymore, the answer to that he knew. In a weak voice he managed to ask "where are you taking me?"

Morgana gave a shrill laugh, "Oh you'll see brother, you'll see." They approached the royal balcony now adorned with the black silk the white dragon on the center of it, the very place from where he watched countless men, woman, and even children being burnt or beheaded for their crimes of magic, but today a heavier feeling was settling in his stomach than when he watched them wondering if they were indeed innocent; as he wondered who it was that she was going to have burned when the pyre came into view.

He frantically looked around wondering if they've caught Merlin as well, or if it would be Elyan or another knight that refused to give her his loyalty that would succumb to the horrid fate of being burnt alive. Then he wondered if this was to give him a warning, to prepare him for his own fate. He had so many questions and no answers, he felt as helpless as he did when his father passed judgment on those who he now believed to be innocent.

Morgana watched his turmoil with a smile on her lips, her eyes cold and full of disgust. "Tell me brother, what does it feel like to take something so precious from someone who has done nothing to harm you?"

Arthur looked at her then, "I wouldn't know of that Morgana, I don't kill to please myself."

"No you killed to please your father!" she spat back the fire in her eyes raging high.

Arthur looked her over, "he was your father as well Morgana, isn't that your reasoning behind claiming the throne and Camelot, that it is your birth rite!" He watched her lips press together in being reminded of being Uther's daughter, but he continued, "I admit that I was wrong, and I've even started to evolve, to realize that what I did in my youth to please our father wasn't right even if it was law."

Morgana smiled again, "you've learned nothing, you only claim to have changed, you stood by and watched them burn, you help find them! The only thing you changed was solely for yourself, and that was to marry a servant."

"That servant was your friend, she was loyal to you!" Arthur shouted.

"And you took her from me!" Morgana shouted back, Arthur watched her then, she pulled herself back and looked to him again, he never realized that Guinevere meant as much to Morgana as she did to him, "she was my only friend, the only thing I had to myself, and you took her from me, just as you took my sister! You and Uther took so much from me!"

"I was your friend, or at least I thought we were friends once." He whispered slowly, "I didn't mean to fall in love with Guinevere, but I'm not sorry that I did." his eyes casting to the cold stone.

She stood straight, "she was pathetic as well, to have fallen in love with the man that let her father be killed, her father was innocent you know. Just as Gwen was innocent of what happened between her and Lancelot the nobel."

Arthur's head jerked up at this, he watched her laugh again, "I must say that at the very least you still have some faith in her to have been able to marry her, but she was of course innocent, she was under my enchantment, I thought Lancelot would kill you, and it would be a silly romantic tragedy, the stuff of legends really-a love triangle between a king, his whore, and his knight. But I realize now that I didn't quite reach the height of tragedy that I could cause you. The sheer pain that I can inflict upon you, until today."

With a motion of her hand he looked down to the court yard to the pryer where he heard a very familiar voice, it was Guinvere's his eyes looked from the pryer to Morgana. "No!" She was alive, she was alive this whole time he was wasting away in the dungeons. Seeing her gave him a spark of life but it also made his heart sink to the depths of his stomach when he realized that it wouldn't be Merlin, or Elyan or one of the other knights, it was going to be Guinevere. "Guinevere!" She looked up at him, her eyes full of tears and fear.

"Oh but yes!" She laughed, her head angling to look at him as her lips pouted, "don't worry it will only hurt while her skin burns then she will faint from the pain and the rest will be smooth."

"Morgana I beg you! Don't do this!" he shouted, he felt the grip on his shoulders tighten, he felt his heart race, and his eyes sting. "She was your friend!"

"Any friendship I had with her ended when she choose you over me. I would have no reason to kill her if it weren't for you Arthur!" Morgana said sternly, almost bitterly, "it is because of you, she will burn today."

"NO! Guinevere!" he fought as much as his body allowed, but he knew he was weak, but he continued, his head feel light. He watched as Guinevere fought and screamed and begged to be released, he watched Morgana's guards bound her to the pryer. "Please Morgana."

She approached him, her cold hand on his chin as she looked him in the eyes, "I lived in fear once, I begged once, but no one listened, so now you shall feel the pain. I shall make you feel what every person who had ever loved someone and died because of Uther and you, and I will keep you alive until your will to live or die has disappeared and you've become a ghost in your own mind. You will see what Camelot will become."

"Morgana I will never forgive for this." He said.

She turned away from him, and looked to the pryer where Guinevere begged for her life, "I don't need your forgiveness, but you will beg for mine." With those words her eyes flashed golden and the spontaneous fire sparked to life as it burned at the flesh it found.

The cries of agony that floated to him cause him to fall to his his knees, the tears trailing down his grime covered face, but Morgana wouldn't let him kneel, no the guards pulled him back up and made him watch as she scream, as the fire turned his beautiful Guinevere into something of shadows, as it consumed her. He looked away again and fell to his knees, had he been watching he would've watched the face of the woman who he knew to be his wife and love Guinevere transform to that of the maid servant Erin. If his mind wasn't weakened and devoured with seeing her in pain he would've heard her call out to Morgana as her mistress. But he didn't see nor hear it, and when he closed his eyes all he could see was Guinevere burning and hear her screams echoing through his whole being.

Morgana kneeled next to him her icy words washing over him, "and now you shall live with that until I grant you death!" And then with a swoosh of her skirt she was gone, he felt himself being pulled up and dragged back to the dungeons.

When he hit the cold ground all he could whisper was, "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry I couldn't save you..."

TBC

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Please Review!


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